Have you ever set a goal, started strong, and then found yourself slipping back into old habits? It’s frustrating—and all too common. But what if the problem isn’t with your goals or plans, but with how you see yourself? In my latest blog post, I dive into the idea of identity-based change. Rather than just pushing through with willpower, true transformation happens when you start to become the person who naturally achieves those goals. Read on to see how shifting your identity could be the missing piece to lasting growth and success.

Real Change Starts with a Shift in Identity

I’ve come to realize that to truly plan and live a better life, I need to start by becoming a different person at the core. It’s not just a matter of implementing a solid plan or setting goals—I’ve done that many times before. But the hardest part is sticking to it, making it last, and feeling that I’ve truly changed. When I look honestly at my habits, I see a mix of bad ones I wish I could break and a few good ones that, while growing, still don’t feel like they’re enough.

I’ve noticed that wanting something deeply, even putting together a plan to achieve it, isn’t enough to transform who I am. Yes, setting a goal and taking the first steps is important and can feel like a success in itself. But if that process doesn’t involve a change in my identity, I find myself slipping back into old habits or attitudes as soon as I reach the goal. It’s frustrating to pour energy into change, only to find myself repeating the same cycle—losing momentum, struggling with motivation, and ultimately feeling like I have to start from scratch. It’s exhausting to keep mustering the willpower to stay on track, especially on the days when that willpower just isn’t there.

Maybe the issue is with how I’m approaching change in the first place. Instead of just aspiring to achieve a goal, I might need to rethink my identity, to identify more deeply with the person I want to become. For example, I often tell myself things like, “I’m not really a reader,” or “I don’t have enough time to read and finish books.” I catch myself reinforcing this identity with thoughts like, “I don’t have enough money,” or “I’m too stressed and overworked,” or “I don’t have a clear direction in life.” When I set goals to change these things, my lack of motivation or the absence of immediate results just confirms that old identity. I end up falling back into those negative beliefs, and it’s a tough cycle to break.

But what if I approached it differently? What if, instead of just focusing on the goal, I changed how I see myself fundamentally? This idea intrigues me because it’s not about forcing myself to read more or to develop more discipline; it’s about viewing myself as a reader—as someone who naturally reads, learns, and grows. If I saw myself as a reader, then every time I picked up a book, it would feel like a confirmation of that identity. I could say to myself, “Look, here I am, reading—I am a reader.” This is far more powerful than the alternative, which sounds something like, “I didn’t read today; I’m never going to be consistent, so I must not really be a reader.”

The difference is profound. By changing how I see myself, my actions can align with this new identity, making the process feel natural instead of forced. I think this approach has the power to shift everything. Instead of relying solely on motivation or forcing myself into a plan, I’d be acting in harmony with who I am choosing to be. Each action, no matter how small, would affirm my identity and bring me closer to lasting change. It’s a shift in perspective that I believe could make all the difference.

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